Who is Shara Elizabeth?

Shattered Glass

The dusty old picture of Jon that I found in my old closet(at my parents house) was a BLAST from the Past. It had been ages since I heard from him. I noticed the picture, keep in mind was ten years old, was in a picture frame with shattered glass. Bad luck for seven years?! Does that apply with glass, I hope not, seeing as I had just broken my Sephora carry around mirror, it made me feel it was sign that I was becoming to vain. Oh well what can you do? I decided that moment I had to show Jon the old picture I found of him.

Jon.

Jon was my very first love in the world. I met him in middle school and dated him all throughout the beginning of high school. I absolutely adored him, to this day. His bright personality and love for life just drew every one to him. You could say he's irresistible. Not a bad bone it that body of his. We remained close friends after we broke up, but as the college years ravaged through my life, we drifted a part. However, Jon's the type of person you can talk to like no time has passed at all. He always seems to understand and encourage me when he knew I needed it. A true, loyal friend.

It was decided I had to see him sometime soon. I have realized over the years good friends, I mean true friends, are nearly impossible to find. And, if your lucky enough to have them, hold on to them. They are worth the pain they may cause, the drama, the tears, or whatever the case may be. Because who are you, if know one knows the real YOU? Life just isn't worth living without those unforgettable, indescribable connections you make with people along the way.

I was at bar and I run into one of Jon's friends. He calls John, and John tells me,"I'll be there in fifteen minutes! I want to see you, It's been forever!" I was so happy to hear from my old friend, and randomly at that. Unfortunately, it was late and my boyfriend was ready to go before Jon came to the bar. So I guess i'll see him another time? Although, I thought when would I ever just see him? Both of our schedules are completely different? BLah. blah. blah. The usual justifications you make to yourself, to make life a little easier.

Me and Jon spoke through text several weeks later. We were finally to hang out. But that night I canceled again. I can see him anytime I said. "Sorry tonight isn't a good, sometime soon though!" The last text I would ever send to him.

It's 4:30 am. I charge my dead phone and see all the text messages. So many that I can't even read one, without ten more popping up at the same time. The calls we're from my mother, all my best friends, people I haven't heard from since high-school, and I'm 24 almost 25 years old now. SOMETHING IS WRONG. That's about all I know...

I check my voice mail. I have to listen through half of thirty "unheard massages" before I even get to the important one, the one about all the calls. Angela. What? "Jon's died in a car-wreck with Justin. The wake is tomorrow. I hope to see you there."

A million thoughts went through my mind. A million regrets, " If only I hadn't canceled?!" Why did I do that. How could I do that. And at 4:30 there is not any one to talk to, just the ability to torture yourself with your own regrets.

I'll always love you Jon Brown. And No, Jonathon Alan Brown is not a pseudonym. Thanks for putting joy in my life and lives of so many others. You touched so many people along the way. Your soul is pure and I am so blessed to have been even just a small chapter in your short life. Rest in Peace Jonboy. Your forever in my heart and thoughts.

Positive

Sorry that i started my first post so angry. It just happened to be that I went through a day of hell on the phone with bank of america. ok done talking about that one.....

so, I thought i would post a few pictures of myself and explain a little about who i am. I am twenty four years old, and a graduate of the university of georgia. I majored in sociology with a minor in website design/development. My ultimate goal is to start my own web developing company. I would love to do this for the following reasons: a. It would be awesome to work for myself! (no minions!) lol. b. I would not be tied down in any state, i could, hypothetically, just leave the country on a whim, and still get my work done. c. When I have children to raise, I can work from home! (then i wouldn't be the housewife who lived off her husband, I want to be self-sufficient.) d. I would be a nice boss and understanding, unlike most corporate bosses, who are so caught up in "corporate rules & regulations." lame. e. It would feel incredible to build something from the ground up and watch it grow (hopefully :)). Those are just a few of the reasons why i want to own my on web developing company. I'm just glad that I have a goal that is foreseeable and realistic. I can not lie, it feels DAMN good. ha. On the contrary, I'm just a girl with a dream, who is absorbing all the knowledge I can get right now. I love music, films, or anything remotely artistic. I absolutely love David Bowie and Queen. Also, I am in love with lady gaga right now. She is the next Madonna, just watch. I love all underground music, not because it is "underground," just that it usually much better than mainstream music. I love films especially wes anderson, martin scorsese, guy ritchie, gus van sant, takeshi miki, etc.

life has not always been so great for me. Ive struggled with an addiction problem for the past four years. Luckily I made it out without too many scars, and i can tell the story. not that it's a good one and I hate talking about it. But i'm sure I will refer to it plenty of times throughout my blog, seeing as it has consumed my life for a while. No longer, thank god, but you never forget, I may block it out as much as I want, but any word could trigger the wrong memory.... so Yes, it is a process, but I KNOW i'll be just fine.

Bank of America sucks dick.

I have been a loyal customer to Bank of America for the past five or six years. Yet, they insist on always fucking me over. What is up with ya'll's bureaucratic bullshit rules?? and why do i always talk to someone, who is supposedly fixing my "issues," that your shitty bank creates for me in the first place, that tells me, "oh all is well, blah blah blah." And, of course it is everything but. Fix your customer service. Maybe you should train all your little minions to ACTUALLY take the fucking notations, they are claiming to be doing. I would love it if i could actually call your service without having to explain my situation fifty million fucking times. Thanks. and while you're at it maybe you should keep note to ALL pending transactions-- for all minions to see, so i don't have to talk to fifty dumb people first, who can not do anything, before permission from the "corporation." This could save many customers all the bullshit, and I'm quite sure your business might run more efficiently, without fucking the client.