12.21.2013

Visions of you...


Visions of you in the car,
the wind blowing through my hair,
I look over at you and smile.
I feel this sensation in my heart,
like I’ve always wanted.
Now, I know what it means to be alive.
A beautiful thing that can never be fully expressed.
All I can say is thank you…
Thank you for loving me.
I know I;m difficult at times, but you got me.
You got me by the heart strings.
I know you still don’t know how much I love you.
But, baby I do. I do love you.
I love just being next to you.
Nothing translates better than waking up next to you.
Baby, You’re all I know that’s true… Thank you.

12.12.2013

There's no remedy, for a memory...


This life is so beautifully tragic, yet, full of hope and desire. It's a roller coaster of emotions, images, experiences, and vibes. The most touching moments, and the memories that are projected over and over, playing the same song, are usually the most destructive ones. However, they are moments I would never take back. They are events that are engraved in my heart and etched in my brain forever. These are the moments we live for. However, contradictory they are, they are priceless. I love you. I love you. I love you. Even if it's only what it was. It was beautiful. Thank you. I'm forever indebted.

12.11.2013

You've got everything now

Old writing...recording it.

As merry as the days were long
I was right and you were wrong.

Back at the old grey school
I would win & you would lose.

But, you've got everything now.
You've got everything now.
And, what a terrible mess
I've made of my life,
Oh, what a mess I've made of my life.

No, I've never had a job.
Because I've never wanted one.

I've seen you smile
But, I've never really heard you laugh.

So, tell me who is rich and who is poor?

You are you're mother's only son.
And, you're a desperate one.
Ooohh...

But, I don't want a lover.
I just wanna be seen...ohh...
In the back of your car.

A friendship sadly lost?
Well this is true, and yet false.

But, did I tell you by the way, I never did like your face.

No, I've never had a job,
Because, I've never wanted one.

I've seen you smile, but I've never really heard you laugh.
So, who is rich and who is poor?
I can't say.....

Oh, you are you're mother's only son.
And, your a desperate one.
ooohh...

But, I don't wanna be your lover.
I just wanna be tied ...to the back of your car.
to the back of your car.
to the back of your car.
to the back of your car.
to the back of your car.
to the back of your car.
Oooooh...

oooh baby.

I can only say, yes, it hurts,when it all falls apart.
Yes, I know, that too my dear.
Life is a complicated mess.

You're heart is heavy with stress.
That's not you're fault.
Not yours. Not yours.....Maybe I'm the only one who know why.

Don't bear it my love,
Just come back
come back
where you know you belong.

See my dear, it's not so bad here.
Our world is beautiful, tiny pieces of me tattooed on your heart and engraved in your soul.
Our complete hearts overlap into a whole.

Things can never be so bad, lying here, knowing I'll awake next to you.
to you.
to you.

See my dear,
So just come back.
come back.
come back.
come back to where you know you belong.

It's beautiful here. Stay awhile, my dear.

12.07.2013

What's really going on...


So, you wanna tell me what you really think?
Awkward silences are just not for me.
Choke that shit out, puuhlease.
This bullshit tension burns like salt on a wound,
Fuck, I'd rather know my tomb.
What the fuck is up?
Tell me something real.
The fantasy is precedent of reality, I feel.
So, just communicate.
The we'll really know our fate.
Fuck being fake.
You can drop that shit to the bottom of the lake.
For fucks sake.

11.18.2013

We lost it.

Back in the autumn school days,
we used to skip school and get high, my how time flies,
just wishing we were older, if we only knew then what we know now, no way,who, how, would we dream of growing up. It's for suckers. We always knew that, but now all our friends got jobs and baby mamas, and getting married in next October, grown up shit drama.
Oh shit, remember that couple we used to kick it with...they getting married now,
and our landlord is new york bound....
it's just me and you baby, but we ain't together now.
This broken hearted soul will remain I disavow,
whatever that means... Everytime I ride down 75 I think of us.
The bad carefree crime kids, when i was a cool kid on the school bus
You remind me of the joys of being a whimsical light-hearted me.
I flew through the air like Keep your eyes closed, it's better when you can't see.
I fell hard for you from the moment I met ya.
We grew close and closer over the years, we grew in different ways.
we changed in every possible uv, gamma ray.
We lost our innocence along the way. The little we had to begin with.
Now, I drive by Points apartments, like it's earily familiar.
It's my home I built with you, symbolizing all we been through.
Now, I can't even go up the stairs I sat on daily,
drinking, smoking, people watching, you got some baileys?
No, but got PBR on straight deck,
we got what you need when it comes to getting right,
we majored in the fast life, and how to be the light...
Well now it's just the lost memories and and remember whens
It's tragically untragic, from end to begin.

11.08.2013

SMH....

So...now you wanna call me back?
Too bad your train's off that track.
Your fucking attitude's whack.
Your a mama's boy, fucking brat.
Oh yeah, And I know you are a fucking rat.
Thought I wouldn't play that card?
Baby, niceness isn't what I'm known for.
You should know that...
Don't you know by now, you can't touch me, that's a fact.
Try me again, this time i ain't calling back.
You idiot. You think I'd fall for that trap.
You lost this ass...PEACE, that's a wrap.

It is what it is, or is it?

Put my hands against the wall.
If you push me, I'ma fall.
I can't take it all!

Everything's great, were not fighting.
But on the inside, were fight or flighting.
And, now I'm writing.
Deciphering...
Hope it gets better, unlikely.

11.05.2013

What it used to be isn't what it is now.

You used to fall all over me, you couldn't get enough...
The sparks between us just set the fire off...
There's gonna be splatter everywhere, better grab the drop cloth..
You know I like you...but i'll get on top,
Do you right untill you say stop.
Endless days of summer time rays and sunny ways...
Glorious sun, ravishing heat no better I say...
Dark and fast nights...We went to the other side
Even though we knew we were on for the ride...
Like the fastest roller coaster and jumping out of the sky dive,
Our lives were a time lapse...
Day to night, relapse.
Our love was as true as it could be,
Considering you drew the blood,
don't let it coagulate, this is we.
We started running out the door,
We never walked first, which left us blood thirsty, wanting more.
Our selfish ways turned our love into something tainted,
unpure and something it wasn't before.
I still miss you, I still feel your connection, but we just hurt each other.
Now I have to move on and give all my love to another.
Somebody disrespected you.
Mistreated you...
Shoved ya against the wall,
Wasn't there when you fall,
That's a nigga you shouldn't even call.
After you left him, a motherfucker act like you disrespect him,
even thought you were the one who dealt with all his bad judgment calls.
Even though you took the heat,
that nigga wasn't around to hear your heart skip a beat.
He wasn't there cause that nigga weak.
He like fuck this, ima make her cry she wasn't there when a nigga fall so I said goodbye,
Even though i tried, I made her cry, hopefully even wanna die.
At the end of the day she still don't even play and she the baddest bitch, with the homies she always 
straight legit. She cooked and cleaned but she was still my beauty queen.
Till this day, I hope she find her way. Miss her but even though she's gone it's prolly better this way.
She getting married now, goddamn she's still fine, holds it down like whats yours is mine.
Never let me down she was always around, now tell me who wears the crown?

10.30.2013

For you who?

So….it’s been a month.
I’m not even trying to front.
I’ll tell you something true.
You keep me together, you’re my glue.
Baby, this is probably long overdue…
But, I fucking love you.
Thank you for being so patient with me.
My heart belongs to you, you have the key, don’t you see?
My heart races when you’re near like I’m at a world premiere.
Everytime you kiss me, it’s like the first time…
You got my head spinning, oo, oh sublime…
It’s like the best crime.
You make me dripping wet, I wanna feel you inside me.
Cum inside of me, I wanna feel it,
You know you don’t even need that spit.
I wanna open up and tell you what no one else knows…
I know that I’m complicated like Marilyn Monroe…
Peel back the layers of this onion peel,
And, you’ll find out this heart is real…
Please be patient and kind…what we have is hard to find.
Babydoll you are my everything…
I hope one day I’ll be lucky enough to wear your wedding ring.
One day we’ll have to make it official,
I swear it’ll be more than mutually beneficial.

10/30/13

7.24.2013

What is this world, ANYWAYS?


So much bullshit that is self-inflicted it's like i win the prize, but miss the reward by two inches. I make it dramatic when it's not. i can't let myself be happy, I've got a game now, a sport. i wish i never knew, the fake happiness that is so unpure. i'm the monster that lives inside your closet. i'm the monster that just got your wallet. i'm the one that will meet you there,
just call it.

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